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Unequally Healed

 “What if your mate doesn’t want healing?” she wondered. The lady asked me that terrific question at an event where I spoke with Christian leaders and people from other healing ministries in Ohio.

 The reality is we often seek out our opposite in a mate. I believe we look for qualities in others that which we lack, traits that will balance us out. But we can grow weary of living with someone so different from us. This can cause problems in many areas of life including healing. I had a friend who firmly believed the unexamined life was not worth living. Sparks flew when he discovered his wife believed the examined life wasn’t worth living. They eventually divorced.  

I don’t think divorce is necessary over such differences. As I sought wisdom to answer the lady’s question that night I referred back to a passage in the New Testament where we are told that an unbelieving mate is won without a word as he or she observes the difference Christ makes in the life of a believer.  I told her the same principle applies with healing. If a person comes back from a retreat or seminar after having experienced some powerful healing and all the blessings that go with it they would naturally want that for their mate. However, if they push it on their loved one, he or she would just as naturally resist. Instead of the intended blessing, it may seem like a new way of saying “I'm okay but you're not okay,” and any of us would reject that.

 I recently spent some time with an actress friend who was disillusioned because she felt she had done everything right for years yet the Lord wasn't answering her prayers for a big gig. We discovered that many things she thought were right had no connection to the prayers she offered up, and other things she hadn't done had clear ramifications for her unanswered prayers. The clarity from that gave her quite a breakthrough. The next time I saw her she glowed with life and energy. The gloom that clouded her features and no doubt her auditions was a thing of the past.

 I mention this because if you want your significant other to respond to the Lord’s promise to heal our brokenness it probably has a much better chance of happening if your mate sees wonderful changes in you and reaps some of the benefit of those changes. It definitely won't come from brow beating them into a decision they can’t wholeheartedly embrace. A happy life is a magnet, a critical life like a magnet in reverse. If you want healing for others, demonstrate its fruits. They'll eventually ask why you're smiling so much lately. Then you can share the good news. And then they just might buy into it.

Ken Unger is President of and founder of, where you can learn more about him and his transformative ministry. click here ,
 "Ken's new book, The Ultimate Breakthrough, goes beyond self help to self healing. You can preview it at The Ultimate Breakthrough "


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