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How to Heal Marriages and Divorced People
 

Two categories of people have pressing needs for healing, those who are currently married and those who have been divorced. Fortunately, spiritual healing helps both groups dramatically.

Statistics on the problems of single, divorced and married people are staggering. Over 36% of adults are single now, with many feeling lonely, hurt, abandoned and jaded. More people have been divorced in the church than in the secular world – almost 60%. Partly this is because marital problems and divorce drive people to church seeking help and answers. Sadly, they seldom find either.

Those who regularly attend worship for a long time have a much higher chance of remaining married and having happier marriages, but that doesn’t mean they don’t need help too. Pressures on marriages today are unparalleled. More and more people each month ask us for marriage retreats.

That’s because few churches show married people how to create a happy marriage. Even fewer help save marriages, and fewer still do anything to help heal the wounds of divorce. When my marriage was failing I asked for help from my huge, evangelical mega church. No one even responded to my plea. Sadly, Christian counselors didn’t help much either. We went to seven over the years, and a few different pastors. None could help save our marriage.

So how does spiritual healing help both married and divorced people? It resolves the root problems of our misery and failures and heals the underlying causes instead of merely treating the symptoms. If a marriage is to be healed, people must be healed. Practical advice alone, even solid biblical counsel, doesn’t solve all our problems. When people and marriages are broken, behavior modification alone can’t change much.

That’s because each marriage joins together not just two people but at least six. Each partner’s mother and father play a huge role in the marriage. This is true even if the parents are dead or absent. If a person had more than one mom or dad, the problems multiply. That’s why the first exercise we use at our Spiritual Healing Retreat helps people reconnect with long forgotten pains and deficiencies from their parents. Hardly anyone finishes that exercise without lots of tears.

Certainly not all our problems come from our parents, and as adults, we can all choose to make our lives what we want. But without deep healing, our emotional history has a relentless way of repeating itself. People make the same poor choices over and over again. What’s worse, many of us find ourselves becoming more and more like our parents, no matter how we try to avoid it. But there’s hope. Jesus came to heal the brokenhearted for a good reason. We desperately need that healing if we are to succeed in life and relationships and glorify Him. And most of our heartbreaks begin at home. No one but Jesus had a perfect parent and His Father got Him tortured and killed. Jesus can identify with our worst pain. Better yet, He can heal it.

It’s significant that the last promise of the Old Testament is that the Lord will “turn the hearts of the father to their children and the hearts of the children to their fathers,” lest the earth be cursed. (See Malachi 4:2, 5-6.) In fact, most of our social problems result from familial defects. Social problems are simply family problems that never got solved. The visitation of the father’s sins extends for generations. (See Exodus 20:5).

But thankfully the Bible doesn’t end there. Some of the best news I know is that God is healing the brokenhearted today like never before. He’s restoring both children and parents and He’s creating beautiful marriages. It all begins with healing our deepest wounds. He can do that for you. Is anything worth more?

Ken Unger is President of OnlyGodsFinest.com and founder of TransformationIncorporated.com, where you can learn more about him and his transformative ministry. click here ,
 "Ken's new book, The Ultimate Breakthrough, goes beyond self help to self healing. You can preview it at  The Ultimate Breakthrough "

 

 
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