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Transformational Relationships

We hope to offer a seminar on Transformational Relationships this year. Marianne Williamson says, "Relationships are meaningful because they are opportunities to expand our hearts and become more deeply loving." She also rightly observes that "Love is to people as water is to plants."

 The God of the Bible is all about love and transformational relationships. After all, the Kingdom of God is the Kingdom of right relationships, with God placing first and people second. Somewhere in there we need to get the relationship right with ourselves as well. (After all, we really DO love others as we love ourselves.)

 Self-hatred is an insidious destroyer of all that is good and truly holy. Often we self-medicate with our addiction of choice, abusing sex, alcohol, food, drugs work or even religion, because we hurt so much from our own devastating self talk. Jesus said we should hate our own life but only if it conflicts with His blessed call for us, he never said we should hate ourselves. When we do, it becomes impossible to love God or others as we ought. And love is the only word that sums up what it means to obey God. Learning to love is the core curriculum of the Kingdom. Relationships aren’t the playground for that they are our very classroom. When we see them as such, our lives can change and improve immensely.

 Imagine if every church majored in love. Imagine if it saw its primary goal as teaching its people how to genuinely love. You couldn’t build buildings large enough to house the masses that would want in on it. Instead, churches often avoid deep love, and understandably so. Love is messy, painful, risky business. Pastors are encouraged to avoid close relationships in their congregations for fear of jealousy or being forced to remove the mask of perfectionism that congregations like their clergy to wear. And yet, this wasn’t the way Jesus worked. He chose 12 very normal flawed men to love on a daily basis and – the rest is history.

 Our mission at Sunrise Retreats is to equip the Church for two things, authentic, scriptural discipleship (learning how to love) and healing the hurts that make it impossible to love. The first transformation we need is what Jesus called new birth. Sadly, many Christians haven’t experienced this. In the words of Henry Drummond we have offered people “justification without regeneration,” letting them live with the delusion that their life will change if only they believe the right doctrines. People need authentic new life in Christ through a powerful encounter with the Holy Spirit before any meaningful transformation can begin.

 The second transformation we need heals the core brokenness that keeps us from obeying the commands to love. The very name of Christ is pregnant with this insight. He was the Christ, the Messiah, the Anointed One, so He could heal our broken heart. Then and only then can we become healthy enough to drop our charade and love as courageously as Jesus did.

 Healing and discipleship, the love the world really needs. Romance won’t do it for us but this kind of reality will. And it’s that reality we will offer you throughout the New Year. I intend to make ’08 great; I intend to be transformed. How about you?



Ken Unger is President of and founder of, where you can learn more about him and his transformative ministry. click here ,
 "Ken's new book, The Ultimate Breakthrough, goes beyond self help to self healing. You can preview it at The Ultimate Breakthrough "
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